Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
