I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
