Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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