I want to have your abortion
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
