Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
