We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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