her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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