oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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