Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
