Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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