I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
