Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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