I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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