have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
