she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
