if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
