I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
