Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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