Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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