don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
false alarm. still invincible.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
