she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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