So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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