If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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