He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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