why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
