If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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