Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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