I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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