Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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