found the other keg... it's in the tree
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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