one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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