The brown eye won't let me do that either.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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