Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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