We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
