why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
