when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
