I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
