I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize