I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
