she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
