You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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