Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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