He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize