I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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