Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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