my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
