walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
