Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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