To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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