Quick, to the slutcave!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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