is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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