You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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