Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
