Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
