Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
