last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She announced her abortion via fbk
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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