everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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