Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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