Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
