Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
