dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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