so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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