you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
