we made out on top of his cat.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
