video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
