More tranny stories later!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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