you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Randomize
