hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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