honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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