Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
