kristin has been a bad kristin
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
