didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
