i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Green mimosas i think yes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
