you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
And then my night got REAL pukey
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
