What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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