he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hippo gnu deer
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
