I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
