It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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