No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
