He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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