What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
