i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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