i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
dude. I can hear the air.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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