just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
50% drunk capacity currently
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
