You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
