THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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