Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
