You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I have post one night stand depression
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