they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
